


do you feel loved?

by nctaliaromanova



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Love Confessions, maria loves nat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23261224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nctaliaromanova/pseuds/nctaliaromanova
Summary: “do you feel loved?”“i will be, if you get this lipstick right. which colour do you think he’d like?”“this one.” she picks her own favourite shade.in which nat crashes at maria's place one night and from then on, nat learns what love is again.
Relationships: Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 6
Kudos: 115





	do you feel loved?

**Author's Note:**

> one of my favourite marianat fics i've written! i love this so so much and i hope you do too! <3  
> leave kudos or a comment and let me know how i did! :-)

**DO YOU FEEL LOVED?**

The road feels tacky beneath her boots, the lace on her left shoe untied and soaked in the dreggy rainwater. Natasha picks up her pace, shoving her hands into her pockets as she turns a corner and halts in front of an apartment complex. She tries to shove the pain radiating from her left cheek as far back in the recesses of her mind as she can, tries to ignore the clean slit in her tank top and the steady stream of warm liquid down her abdomen. A chill blows past and she shivers involuntarily. Drawing in a shaky breath, Natasha carefully treads up the staircase leading to the front door, sobs in her mouth threatening to spill. Whoever is looking down at her from their window probably thinks she looks like a heartbroken teenager finding a place to crash for the night. But maybe she is, maybe she does need someplace for the night.

She gently rings the intercom, sighing when the dim LED screen displays the words ‘open’. Her feet ache down to her bones and the wound on her stomach doesn’t look too good either. She’ll fix it on her own, though. She always does. That’s what her life is; she breaks and she fixes and she breaks again. Her head is still pounding from the impact of the back of his hand and her steps are unsteady, but she manages to make her way up to the front door of a certain someone’s apartment. 

“Hey, I’m so sor—” Natasha blurts out when Maria comes into view. She’s in a black tank top and shorts, her hair slightly tousled. She gives Natasha a look of surprise, but it quickly changes into concern as she eyes the faint outline of a hand on her cheek and the way she’s slightly doubled over. 

“God,” Maria sighs, carefully pulling Natasha in by the shoulder and peeling the coat from her soaking frame. The door closes with a click and Maria spins around to find Natasha deathly silent. Natasha eyes her lifelessly, her lips unmoving but her hands trembling terribly by her sides. “Can I crash for tonight?” Her question comes out more as a confession, and Maria just gives her a quiet nod of approval, pulling her close.

They sit across from each other on Maria’s bed, knee to knee and their hands laced in each other's. Natasha feels better, just slightly, after the warm bath Maria had run for her. The scent of vanilla permeates her hair and the room, putting her at ease. Maria always knew what calmed her down, and she makes a mental note to thank her for it someday.

“Are you okay?” Maria asks a question she knows the answer to, but it comes out anyway because she wants Natasha to talk. Or move, or look up at her. She has been non-verbal since she stepped out of the shower and a pit of concern is starting to grow within Maria.

“I- I don’t know…” She exhales shakily, a fresh jolt of pain blossoming in her abdomen. She’s starting to think it’s more than just a knife wound, but she can’t tell from the way Maria has an arm over her stomach. 

“Do you feel loved?”

Natasha casts her gaze downwards and fidgets with the loose thread on Maria’s quilt.

“Sometimes,” she replies. She thinks about the eight-course dinner she had at a gala last weekend, thinks about the Saint Laurent bag on her vanity table, thinks about all the times he’d whispered sweet nothings in her ear. 

A ring from her mobile phone startles her, and Natasha hesitantly peers over. Maria looks up, only for Natasha to turn back with a fresh face of tears. Maria sees through her and she can almost feel the anguish radiating from Natasha.

Maria rests the back of her hand on Natasha’s chest, and she feels her heart rapid against her skin. 

“Something you want to say?” Maria presses for a reply gently, her tone cautious.

“I don’t know if it’ll last.”

| | |

“You look stunning,” Maria sighs in admiration as Natasha twirls around in front of the mirror. Her hair is in coiffures, and she has a semblance of contentment on her lips. It’s the first time Maria has seen Natasha with a smile this big, it almost scares her. 

“Do you feel loved?” Maria suddenly speaks up, watching as a seemingly permanent smile graces Natasha’s lips. The smile fades quickly, but it’s followed by a light punch in Maria’s side and a hearty chuckle. 

“I will be, if you get this lipstick right. Which colour do you think he’d like?”

Maria sighs, her heart fluttering with tenderness. She watches as Natasha twirls her hair in between her fingers, watches as she bats her lashes contentedly, watches as Natasha stares at the mirror, straight at Maria. 

“This one.” Maria picks out a lipstick shade, popping the cap off and dragging it gently across Natasha’s lips. She picks her own favourite shade. 

As the hour hand strikes nine, Maria watches from her apartment window as a man links arms with Natasha, whisking her away into a car she could never afford.

| | |

Maria tries to brush the strands of hair sticking to her temples, watching as Natasha shakes in her embrace. She can do nothing but press gentle kisses to the crown of her head and run her fingers over Natasha’s arms. With the curve of Maria’s body pressed up against Nat’s, she feels each tremble and each violent heave of Natasha’s shoulders. Maria can’t see past the tears in her eyes, can’t believe that he could want anything better than this. 

“Nat,” Maria rubs her back of her hand softly, a look of sincerity in her eyes. “I’m not letting him hurt you anymore, I’m not letting anyone hurt you anymore.”

No. Maria doesn’t understand, she doesn’t know who he is, what he’s done. Maria doesn’t know what  _ she’s _ done. Natasha buries her head further into Maria’s chest, letting a sob escape without meaning to.

“You’re safe with me, Natasha. Hear me? You’re safe.”

“No… He’ll come…”

“He won’t. You’re safe in my apartment and it’s just the two of us.” Maria gently coaxes her. 

“You can’t fix it. You can’t fix any of it.” Natasha chokes out, and it hurts Maria to see her like this.

“Maybe not all of it, but I’m going to try for you, okay?”

Natasha composes herself, running her fingers over Maria’s thumb. Then, she nods.

When the sobs quieten and the violent storm recedes, Natasha turns around to look at Maria in the eyes, their hands once again clasped around each other’s.

“Do you feel loved?” Maria exhales.

“I do.” Natasha breathes out, blinking back her tears and reaching out to cup one hand around Maria’s cheek.

Finally, a gentle, tender smile finds its way onto her lips and Maria knows that everything will be okay. 

_ I am loved. _


End file.
